At the tail end of my twenties,  I’ve grown to love myself. I feel more confident, sexy and driven than ever before. I do work that I find fulfilling, I’m in love with a wonderful man and I have an exciting life.

I had a tough time in high school like so many other queer youth. I’m multiracial, come from a working class family and I was a lot heavier back then. Being gay on top of all that made me stand out at a time I was desperately  trying to fit in. When I came out at 17 I felt alone. I lost my best friend when I told him I loved him (we had been inseparable for 3 years). I was filled with self-loathing for years. 

I met the love of my life in University. My extended family refused to allow us at family gatherings when they found out. Out of that pain my parents and brother became my strongest allies.

I stopped caring what others thought of me. My relationship was (still is) exciting. We struggled through hard financial times and moved back in with my dad. We suffered through living apart for over a year while we applied for him to become a permanent resident. Now we have an apartment, two cats and friends and family who love and support us.

I found joy in writing. A friend and mentor gave me a chance to prove myself and I excelled. I’m still learning how to make a living out of my passion but I have a direction I’d been lacking for so many years. 

These days my relationship is stronger than ever. We have an open-relationship, and it works for us. Sex, which used to terrify me, is fun and thrilling.

They say it’s harder to make friends as an adult but I’ve found the opposite to be true. I’ve met some incredible people through working in the arts. My relationships, old and new, grow stronger all the time. I feel like I have more opportunities now than ever before. There’s a hope in me that my younger self never could have believed.


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