Coming out was and still is a miracle in my life. Largely forgotten growing up and never feeling attractive at all didn’t make life easier. A wonderful man that I met caused me to come out and risk everything that I had to spend a moment more with him. I never felt good looking enough, white enough, tall enough, or good enough for anyone. But he loved me for me. It never lasted, and more than five years later, I still remember every moment with him. He was the first person who said I mattered and the first person who said he never wanted to hurt me. I was the cool kid for once in his arms. Even though I am told my love for him was more of a symptom of my mental illness, I still love him and know it is for the right reasons. I love him enough to let go because you can’t be in love with a friend. But mattering something to someone is better than meaning nothing to anybody.