Coming out for me, like for most people, is an ongoing process. It doesn’t get easier, you just grow to be more numb to the anxiety and fear it brings. Every time you come out to someone there’s a chance of rejection and backlash, but every time, there’s also a chance for love and acceptance and that’s a beautiful thing. I love coming out to people, because it’s a way to get close to someone, by sharing something so personal with them, it helps to solidify the friendship.
The hard part is to know how much to tell them. In my experience, telling people I’m gay is almost never a problem, because in our society, white, cis, gay men are pretty widely accepted and have a lot of visibility. Usually, when I tell people I’m gay, they smile and laugh and they’re excited because they have a gay friend or they don’t really care, because gay is passe. But when I tell people that I’m genderfluid, or ace, that’s a whole other story. I’m fine with people not knowing what those identities are and I’m happy explaining, but a lot of times people won’t even acknowledge them as real identities because they’re not mainstream. I love coming out, because it’s exciting and intimate, but the fear is something I could live without.